St. Patty’s Day

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Today I decided to go run, an actual run, not the 1-2 miles I’ve been doing recently.  Can I just say, rebuilding stamina and endurance blows.  Rehabbing from injuries and trying to run pain free is even worse.  A little bitter?  Trying not to be.  Poor sport at times, you betcha!  I love where I was and not being there pains me, all the puns intended.  However, hopefully I will be even stronger and better this year because I’m smarter.  :o)  Ended up eating shit, almost ate bird poop, luckily I missed pigeon crap on the sidewalk and only tore my pants and glove.  Weirdly, this makes me happy.  As I mentioned before, I’m clumsy and this proves it.  I swear, I’m waiting for the day when sidewalks will stop moving on me.  Despite the scrape, I still kept going and managed 6.35 miles in 59.52 minutes.  This makes me happy, I feel like skipping.  If this can be my time while running, walking, stopping for red lights and falling then I think I’m well on my way to a great year.

 

Finally gave in to trying dates on my run… YUM!  So much better than gels.  Plus side, I didn’t have nasty cotton mouth (c’mon, you all know what I’m talking about if you’ve had a gross gel on the go) and didn’t have to wash it down.  Nom, nom, nom.  This will be tradition.  What prompted this you may ask?  

http://www.nomeatathlete.com/weird-vegan/

The site above did.  I had to giggle and nod at most of this.   

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#4. Drink weird ass smoothies.  Yes.  Please give me more.  I love smoothies.  The weirder the better.  Kale, collards, banana, pomegranates, Vega One, beets, almonds, cashews and pecans…. Delicious! 

Being a vegan athlete makes me even more weird than the Average Joe I do believe.  Must. Try. Every. New. Trend.  Brendan Brazier inspired me nutritionally.  I <3 him.  He’s one of my role models and I would love to meet him in order to thank him for that (I might also try to take him home, please don’t warn him).  If you don’t know who he is, google him then buy his books and Vega line.

 

Off to eat dinner.  Toodaloo!

…and then there was

This was me… Can you believe it?  There are days when I hardly can and days when I look into the mirror and believe this is still who is staring back at me.

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To this day, I struggle with my weight issues and the insecurities that unfortunately come along.  I remember the days in school when I was teased and bullied for the way I was, it was traumatizing.  Names like “Elephant Girl” remain a constant horror in my mind, perhaps that’s why it took me so long to feel comfortable running, particularly on a treadmill, because I felt like a horse clomping ( is this even a word? clomp, clomp, clomp) along.  This is a breakthrough!  I now understand where that fear has come from, thank you WordPress for assisting in this revelation.  Not only were kids cruel, but learning years later that it was hard for my father, yes the man in the photo with me, to have me by his side, as his daughter, because of my weight.  He was embarrassed.

From the time as a child and through my life this has been a constant battle and is part of why health and fitness has become so important to me.  Hearing that this is how you are, you are just big-boned, you aren’t the athletic one, your lungs aren’t developed enough (I was a preemie) for you to be athletic, you have too many allergies, us Fuller girls aren’t made to work out, etc… Those are things I hear in the back of my mind as I train and live life.  On top of those things growing up, as an adult I’ve been in situations (previous relationship to be exact) I got to hear that I wasn’t fast enough, strong, good, small or muscular enough to get where I wanted to be.  BTW how contradictory is it to hear, “you’re so skinny now but your butt is still too big; your knees are ugly (who the hell says knees are ugly, those can’t just change.  Perhaps we should start having knee transplants just to have aesthetically appeasing knees.  Yes, that will solve all of the worlds issues)”.  Luckily, I’m smart enough to know how STUPID that sounds.  ha.

What I love most is that despite of all of these things, somehow I’ve still managed to get up, shake it off and push through.  There are days when I feel as if I can’t and I let these feelings consume me, those are the days when I try to gather enough strength to get up and run.  Rebuilding character and behavioral flaws have proven a challenge but the feeling that I get in return from them empowers me even more.

I decided back in 2011 that I wanted to run, really run, and train for a marathon.  Thank you to Sandra for helping me get started/ inspiring and putting up with me as a person and training partner.

After I stopped dying during every .5 mile I learned to love running.  We meshed well and I wanted to prove so hard that I was finally good enough to do this and be athletic.  Well, I pushed too hard and stress fractured both tibiae in multiple places.  It doesn’t help that I trip over air, yes, truly.  Gusts of air frighten me….

2011 came along and ran my first half marathon.  That very well might be the proudest moment of my life.  I never in a million years thought that I would be able to accomplish such a feat.  2:10:09  Not too shabby for a first timer.  :)  Ran two more that year…

San Jose: 2:02:21

Las Vegas: 1:58:29

Seeing this, shaved almost 12 minutes off my time in 5 months, proved to me I was no longer “not good enough” and weight would no longer define me.

Running gave gives me a new lease on life.  This is what I need to remember.  This is what you, whomever you may be, need to remember.  Weight, life choices, pain, heartache, these things do not define you but help to create the amazing person you have within.  Embrace life’s challenges and use them to challenge you in ways you never imagined to be possible.  Who knows, maybe one day your life story might help to change someone’s life.

Toodaloo!

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Before and Now.  There’s no going back.

Intro

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Hello!  Welcome to my blog, my new home.  For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Stacey, 27 and currently have a home base in Chicago.

I’m starting this blog to help me work through a lot of things that have happened and are happening in my life, to prove I can put myself out there and most of all, tell my story, and hopefully along the way inspire or motivate someone to change their life.  Whether that change be through health, fitness or emotionally, I welcome you.

I like to run.  I like to eat.  I like to “tri”.  I thought I had a lot to say and now I’m stumbling, quite possibly fumbling, hopefully I’ll get to the message soon.

Life often gets in the way of goals, dreams and inspirations and this past year has been a rough one; surgery, marriage, step-kids, work injury, abuse, depression and divorce.  Fortunately, I have a very loving support group who has helped to scoop me up off my couch and move me to Chicago where I plan on starting anew.